Washington, Jan 29 (Inditop.com) Married couples who refer to themselves as “we” are better able to resolve conflicts than those who do not, a new study said.
“Individuality is a deeply ingrained value, but, at least in the realm of marriage, being part of a ‘we’ is well worth giving up a bit of ‘me’,” said University of California, Berkeley (UC-B) psychology professor Robert Levenson, study co-author.
UC-B researchers analysed conversations between 154 middle-aged and older couples about points of disagreement in their marriages.
They found that those who used pronouns such as “we,” “our” and “us” behaved more positively toward one another and showed less physiological stress.
Conversely, couples who emphasised their “separateness” by using pronouns such as “I,” “me” and “you” were found to be less satisfied in their marriages.
This was especially true for older couples. Their use of separateness pronouns was most strongly linked to unhappy marriages, according to the study, said a university release.
Moreover, the study found that older couples identified more as “we” than did their middle-aged counterparts, suggesting that facing obstacles and overcoming challenges together over the long haul, including raising families, may give couples a greater sense of shared identity.
These findings were published in Psychology and Aging.
